March 18, 2013
Junior Kevin Epp shares stories, knowledge and general lacrosse team news in his weekly blog entitled "Epp-ic Thoughts."
Epp is a two-year letterwinner and long stick defenseman for the Black Knights. He made his way to West Point from Naperville, Ill.
Army Lacrosse Fans -
Welcome to week six of Epp-ic Thoughts.
Before I get started I have to apologize to everyone - all ten of you - who have been waiting on the latest edition of the blog. And by "apologize" I mean I got berated by several people this week because they were offended I hadn't written a blog in two weeks. Listen folks, I have to pass classes. And besides that, it's Spring Break 2013 in Highland Falls, N.Y. I was way too busy sleeping and doing other things far more interesting than writing blogs ... like reading about space and eating Bagel Bites. But that's the past ... let's move on to the topic of this week: goalies.
First off, goalies are absolute nut cases. These people are unstable at best. No wonder Coach A gave them a little section of their own in the locker room. Last week, Andy Boyd allegedly caught them eating glue together. Sadly, it wasn't the first time. That being said, we appreciate every little piece of personality they bring to the team ... however strange and eccentric it may be. Another little fact: goalies wear red jerseys at practice instead of any other color jersey on the team. Therefore, they're given the nickname "Red Army."
Here's the rest of the lowdown on our four goalies:
This warrior was given a spot on brobible.com's 2nd Team All-Name List this past fall. Let's be honest ... who has a name like Zeric Bocage Butters? But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Zeric's latest accomplishment was eating a pound of egg whites followed by seeing how long he could hold his breath. On top of this, Zeric speaks fluent French and repeats cadences on his way to practice (this is actually true). Zeric is one of the few players from the West and claims that it makes him, "So much way chiller, bro." Needless to say, Zeric is one of the most interesting people on the team, which makes him a pretty ordinary guy in the world of goalies.
From what I've been told, Sam is the only practicing Buddhist in college lacrosse. But I may have heard that wrong. Somers also frequents the Newburgh Buffet with myself and Sean Jollota. While Sean and I eat normal human food, Sam prefers to eat entire plates of Jell-O and mayonnaise ... to each his own. Last week, Sam downloaded every song by Cher and made it his mission to listen to all of them as his pre-game mix. Though this may earn him a title as an oddball on the team, he is openly accepted by Red Army.
We are all fairly certain Bobby should have been born as a Rastafarian, however fate placed him in Verplanck, N.Y., as a skinny Italian kid. Before our game against Rutgers, Bob asked Coach A if we could switch our sponsorship from Brine to Rip Curl Surfing Co., but his proposition was shot down for reasons unbeknownst to the rest of the team. Bobby has freshmen to refer to him as "The Dude," as in Jeffrey Lebowski from The Big Lebowski. Bob is most proud of a Native American clay sculpture he built last month, to which he claimed "it puts me in better touch with the forest warriors of our game, man."
Evan Danahy has an impeccable taste in clothing. He can also grow a mustache second to none. Along with this, he has been playing with a broken finger for the past two weeks. Even with a broken extremity, Evan refuses to let anything interfere with his pregame dance, which is comparable to the Bernie ... but far less coordinated. Evan eats an entire tray of jelly donuts before every game and convinces himself that it makes his hands quicker.
Needless to say, the goalies on the team are the most fascinating bunch of hombres this side of the Mississippi. But that being said, what group of goalies isn't? They're an essential part of any team and add a huge bit of personality to our team.
Highlights of the Week
-John Burk(e)'s father is a project manager at the Freedom Tower in NYC and gave the junior class a tour Thursday.
-Tyler Kamide wore eye protection for 48 hours straight.
-Nicci Flores is a huge fan of Army Lacrosse and will be bringing all of her friends to the Army/Navy game.
-John Glesener cracked his head open last game and might have a pretty sick scar on his dome.
-Dave Tarsa did a little Texas two-step and broke some ankles against Rutgers.
-Jimbo Moore decided he is going to grow out his mullet despite the hair standards here at West Point.
Hope to see you all at our game against Lafayette this Saturday.