Epp-ic Thoughts: Week 4

Kevin Epp

Kevin Epp

Feb. 22, 2013

Junior Kevin Epp shares stories, knowledge and general lacrosse team news in his weekly blog entitled "Epp-ic Thoughts."

Epp is a two-year letterwinner and long stick defenseman for the Black Knights. He made his way to West Point from Naperville, Ill.

Army Lacrosse Fans, welcome back to the fourth installation of "Epp-ic Thoughts!" Apparently, being a few days late on a blog can cause a bit of a stir. Matt Mezer almost threw a parfait at my face yesterday, and I've been excommunicated from my lunch table for the past few days for not making the Monday deadline. The truth hurts, folks, I have other priorities on my mind ... such as my status in next year's MLL draft, learning how to properly comb a mullet with Jimbo Moore, and finger painting with Austin Schultz. But in all reality, I've been too busy answering questions like "I'm pretty sure you wore number 31 last year, is this true?"Just to reiterate, the answer is no. I did not. I wore number 21 last year, and I'm grateful for the fifth year of eligibility I've been given this year. Next question, please. This weekend we'll be playing at Syracuse, which is a pretty far bus ride. That brings me to my next point ... how to pass the time on the bus. This is an important question that I would like to address right now. How do we pass time on a bus ride up to Syracuse? Too easy ... movies and iPhone apps. Let me expound on this.

(A) Movies
If you bring a movie and it doesn't bleed patriotism , chest hair, and/or anything that may come to mind with those words ... you're either getting punched out by Dave Tarsa or hog tied by the bus driver and strapped to the top of our team MRAP (a.ka. Mr. Burk's truck). That is the movie portion of this blog. Onto iPhone apps.

(B) iPhone Apps
This is crucial. Let me say that again, imperative, to survival on the road. Let's take a gander at some of the biggest apps this year.

Just when you thought you had seen it all, Tinder emerged.

Scramble With Friends
All other `with Friends' are pale in comparison to their older more experienced brother, Scramble With Friends. Start out with a random assortment of 16 letters and try to rack up points by making them into words. Brendan Buckley and Dave Tarsa are the reigning champs. This one was big last year; waiting to see if it will make a comeback this year.

With this application you can send pictures or videos to groups of people and share your life with them. Or if you're Matt Mezer, you can ruin lifelong friendships and jeopardize your playing time on the field by sharing every moment of your life with dozens. Garrett Thul is equally as frequent. And you too ,Brendan Buckley. You know what, like half the team has a problem with this app. It's running rampant. Rumor has it there was recently a Snapchat inside of a Snapchat. Snapception. Now that takes talent.

Bike Race
You have your own little bike racer guy and race other teammates. It takes a lot of athleticism and isn't for the weak hearted. On a completely unrelated note, the guys on the team who play Bike Race are rarely seen outside.

Llama or Duck
Pretty straight forward ... a picture of a llama or duck pops up on the screen. You get points for consecutively choosing whether it is a llama or duck correctly. Actually I don't know what I'm saying. This isn't popular on the team at all. Mike Larrabee is the only person who plays this game. Conor Van Duzer wanted to play, but got distracted in the midst of downloading it.

Highlights of the Week
- Garrett Thul scored seven goals against VMI ... hahaha ... classic Garrett.
- Far more impressive than Garrett's seven goals? Tom Shade and Brendan Madarasz scored at practice.
- Kip Haddock can see his feet when he looks down now.
- Mike Larrabee got an assist.
- Matt Mezer did a full-blown crab step for several seconds when he scored against VMI. And if you don't know what that is, watch a video of a crab moving. Coach actually rewound the film just so we could watch it twice. Legend.
- Coach found out about the D-Mids' candy tradition.
- The D-Mids are now changing to a burrito tradition.


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